Truly, I am sorry. Thank you for making me a better person.

The inevitable...?

I'm scared of ending up like you.
I'm scared I'll fall out of love with the one that will do anything to save what we once had, or maybe never did.
I'm scared I'll let the job I don't even like hurt those I "love."
I'm scared I'll have ugly paw hands like you.
I'm scared someone else will raise my children, eh I wont risk it; no kids for me.
I'm scared I will lose myself in a tan, bleached blonde, professional body.
I'm scared I will get mad enough to be remembered. And when my child's best friends younger sister thinks of me, she will fear the same thing I once did.
I'm scared of being short like you.
I'm scared I will have to get an operation on my neck because my goiter is so "ugly." I'll have to wear turtlenecks in the blowup pool with the neighborhood kids. Ha, who am I kidding. I'm to busy to go outside.
But even indoors, I must cover that ugly, infected deformity...naturally.
I'm scared I won't see how beautiful I truly am.
She is so beautiful.
I'm scared I'll find comfort in every bed that isn't mine.
I'm scared of becoming like you.
Hell, I'm scared of you.
I'm...scared.

In Rainbows+Road Trip=Just plain happiness.

My 4 favorites.

Thank you for the inspiration.

Howdy Partner, Do you have a Valentine?

3:15- "Well hi there sir.  Can't say I do.  How about yourself?"
4:00- Pick up the kids from school.
4:12- The sink drops its last drip.
4:29- Nothing.
4:47- "Can I have fries with that?"
5:14- The last page lifts with an unsatisfied, satisfied turn.
5:59-"Eat it honey, it's good for you."
6:13- 7(x-14)-54.6= #imscrewed.
6:32- Nothing.
6:44- He hits her.
6:50-The door closes.
6:55-An old woman rummages through the bin for dinner, wrapped up in the false hope she is sure Obama will bring her, trying to keep warm.  Things will change.
7:09-The girls eyes become wet, realizing she lost more than just her virginity as the bastard blows a kiss her way.
7:32- A dotted line is signed in black ink.  Giving a home to a "happy"marriage with an unknown 5 year expiration date, she still thinks the ring does more than sit on his icy hand.... he's different now.
7:53- Nothing.
8:08- A mother aborts her long and gone first loves child.
8:10- It dies.
8:59- "Ouch."
9:32- Nothing.
9:44-She embraces disloyalty like an old friend, as the taste of smoke, with a hint of chocolate tickles her preoccupied tongue.
10:01- They don't answer.
10:37-Nothing.


I fall asleep thinking of how cruel this world is.... allowing my phone to share my favorite pillow with me just this once, in case you decide to text me back.  What kind of selfish creature am I?


We are sick.... Please get out of my head.

#whataday.

Thinking of You.

I'm thinking of you. I'm thinking of you like cheese thinks of macaroni. Like feet think of tile. Like a girl thinks of love. Like a tick thinks of a tock and a door with it's lock. Like Marilyn Monroe. I'm thinking of you like monsters think of scaring little kids. Like those scared kids think of nothing...and everything. Like the addicts think of all that they shouldn't want, but so desperately need. I'm thinking of you like plates think of eating. Like teachers think of reading. Like paint. I'm thinking of you.

The word of the Day is Exoteric.
(ek-suh-TER-ik)

Definition: Suitable for or communicated to the general public.

The Doppelganger we all have.

Music Monday

Song: Big Man-Boy & Bear

Thank you David for the wonderful swap today.  I enjoy this game we play.

Until next time,

Me.

The word of the day is filiopietistic. (fill-ee-oh-pahy-i-TIS-tik)

Definition: Having to do with, or characterized by great, often excessive, reverence for ancestors or tradition.

Love is...

Love.  I feel it is very ironic that our first topic assigned is this.  It is...well everything.  It is the thing that destroys, fulfills, changes and reflects humans.  It is the thing we let take over our lives.  Twisting our emotions through its fingers, kissing our soul ever so quietly, letting us feel just enough to crave more.  Leaving us with an addiction, like the whore in all of our heads. Like the drink we will all gulp for, "the last time," Like the money we know we will someday win if we just try one more time.  But this addiction is different, it's beautiful.  The concept of love has always fascinated me, but it is also something I don't believe in.  Not because I have been through heartache, or my parents sisters' neighbor divorced her husband, I just find it impossible.  We are humans and we are a selfish species.  We have instincts, I feel we are very animalistic.  Putting someone above ourselves just because we feel deeply connected to them is...well like I said impossible.  We don't work that way.  But for those of you who have found a way to skip around it, hand in hand with your lover through a field of flowers, I am happy for you....I think.  If you need me I will be drunk, playing poker with the whores in my mind.

Have a good day.